The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2)
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
What if love doesn't feel uncertain because of the person you're with—but because you haven't fully chosen yourself? Many people settle for relationships that leave them questioning their worth. This episode explores The Mattering Mindset in Love—the difference between being chosen out of love versus convenience, why self-worth determines the love we accept, and how to cultivate relationships that foster security and emotional fulfillment. This conversation will shift everything if you've ever wondered why love feels like a guessing game.
Key takeaways:
- Love isn't about being chosen occasionally—it's about being valued consistently.
- If you have to convince someone of your worth, they are not your person.
- The Mattering Mindset in Love requires mutual investment, not one-sided effort.
- True commitment isn't about exclusivity alone—it's about daily actions that reinforce security and trust.
- If clarity scares someone away, they were never fully invested.
- The right partner welcomes conversations about commitment because they value you.
- Settling happens when you mistake trust and familiarity for real emotional security.
- Speak with your feet—your actions should align with your worth, not just your desires.
- A great relationship makes you feel seen, heard, and valued for exactly who you are.
- If you wouldn't tolerate a certain level of effort from a friend, why accept it in a relationship?
Want to take this conversation further?
Head over to JohnRMiles.com/speaking if you're interested in bringing these insights into your organization, team, or event.
Next on Passion Struck:
In the next episode of Passion Struck, John sits down with Natalie Namaste, an expert in self-healing and emotional freedom, to discuss how to break free from subconscious patterns and build a self-love foundation that transforms every relationship in your life. If you've ever felt stuck in toxic cycles, this is an episode you won't want to miss.
Join the Passion Struck Community!
Sign up for the Live Intentionally newsletter, where exclusive content, actionable advice, and insights help you ignite your purpose and live your most intentional life. Get access to practical exercises, inspiring stories, and tools designed to help you grow. Learn more and sign up here.
Speaking Engagements & Workshops
Are you looking to inspire your team, organization, or audience to take intentional action in their lives and careers? Available for keynote speaking, workshops, and leadership training on topics such as intentional living, resilience, leadership, and personal growth. Learn more at johnrmiles.com/speaking.
Episode Starter Packs
With over 500 episodes, it can be overwhelming to know where to start. Curated Episode Starter Packs based on key themes like leadership, mental health, and personal growth make it easier to dive into the topics you care about. Check them out at passionstruck.com/starterpacks.
Catch More of Passion Struck:
- Part 1 of this series: 'Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You'
- Episode with Jessica Zweig on How to Be the Light You Seek in the World
- Interview with Dr. Nicole LePera on How to Be the Love You Seek
- Episode with Kate Bowler on Why There is No Cure for Being Human
- Solo episode on The Art of Listening: How to Make People Feel Like They Matter
If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don't forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.
How to Connect with John:
Want to explore where you stand on the path to becoming Passion Struck? Take the 20-question quiz at Passionstruck.com and find out today!
See Privacy Policy and California Privacy Notice.
Raw Description
<p>What if love doesn’t feel uncertain because of the person you’re with—but because you haven’t fully chosen yourself? Many people settle for relationships that leave them questioning their worth. This episode explores <em>The Mattering Mindset in Love</em>—the difference between being chosen out of love versus convenience, why self-worth determines the love we accept, and how to cultivate relationships that foster security and emotional fulfillment. This conversation will shift everything if you’ve ever wondered why love feels like a guessing game.</p><p>Download the Leave Behind in the full show notes at: <a href="https://passionstruck.com/the-mattering-mindset-in-love/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://passionstruck.com/the-mattering-mindset-in-love/</a></p><p><strong>Key takeaways:</strong></p><ul><li>Love isn’t about being chosen occasionally—it’s about being valued consistently.</li><li>If you have to convince someone of your worth, they are not your person.</li><li>The Mattering Mindset in Love requires mutual investment, not one-sided effort.</li><li>True commitment isn’t about exclusivity alone—it’s about daily actions that reinforce security and trust.</li><li>If clarity scares someone away, they were never fully invested.</li><li>The right partner welcomes conversations about commitment because they value you.</li><li>Settling happens when you mistake trust and familiarity for real emotional security.</li><li>Speak with your feet—your actions should align with your worth, not just your desires.</li><li>A great relationship makes you feel seen, heard, and valued for exactly who you are.</li><li>If you wouldn’t tolerate a certain level of effort from a friend, why accept it in a relationship?</li></ul><p><br></p><p><strong>Want to take this conversation further?</strong> Head over to <a href="https://johnrmiles.com/speaking" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">JohnRMiles.com/speaking</a> if you’re interested in bringing these insights into your organization, team, or event.</p><p>Sponsors:</p><ul><li>Factor Meals: <a href="http://factormeals.com/factormeals50off" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">http://factormeals.com/factormeals50off</a> and use code “FACTOR MEALS 50 OFF</li><li>Rosetta Stone: Unlock 25 languages for life at <a href="https://www.rosettastone.com/passionstruck" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">“ROSETTASTONE.com/passionstruck</a>.”</li><li>Prolon: Reset your health with 15% off at <a href="https://prolonlife.com/passionstruck" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">“ProlonLife.com/passionstruck</a>.”</li><li>Mint Mobile: Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at “<a href="https://mintmobile.com/passion" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">MINT MOBILE dot com slash PASSION.</a>”</li><li>Hims: Start your journey to regrowing hair with Hims. Visit <a href="https://www.hims.com/passionstruck" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">hims.com/PASSIONSTRUCK</a> for your free online visit.</li><li>Quince: Discover luxury at affordable prices with Quince. Enjoy free shipping and 365-day returns at <a href="https://www.quince.com/passion" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">quince.com/PASSION</a></li></ul><p><strong>Next on Passion Struck:</strong></p><p>In the next episode of <em>Passion Struck</em>, John sits down with Natalie Namaste, an expert in self-healing and emotional freedom, to discuss how to break free from subconscious patterns and build a self-love foundation that transforms every relationship in your life. If you’ve ever felt stuck in toxic cycles, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.</p><p>For more information on advertisers and promo codes, visit <a href="https://passionstruck.com/deals/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Passion Struck Deals</a>.</p><p>Join the Passion Struck Community! Sign up for the Live Intentionally newsletter, where I share exclusive content, actionable advice, and insights to help you ignite your purpose and live your most intentional life. Get access to practical exercises, inspiring stories, and tools designed to help you grow. <a href="https://passionstruck.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Learn more and sign up here.</a></p><p>Speaking Engagements & Workshops Are you looking to inspire your team, organization, or audience to take intentional action in their lives and careers? I’m available for keynote speaking, workshops, and leadership training on topics such as intentional living, resilience, leadership, and personal growth. Let’s work together to create transformational change. Learn more at <a href="https://dashboard.simplecast.com/accounts/85feb7a6-7f1a-4066-9a1d-a29e70386613/shows/5ceb52e3-6ac2-4698-82cb-ce8214a5be04/episodes/7fb53d43-2b1f-477f-be72-4ba5ea97e3e3/#" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">johnrmiles.com/speaking</a>.</p><p>Episode Starter Packs With over 500 episodes, it can be overwhelming to know where to start. We’ve curated Episode Starter Packs based on key themes like leadership, mental health, and personal growth, making it easier for you to dive into the topics you care about. Check them out at <a href="https://dashboard.simplecast.com/accounts/85feb7a6-7f1a-4066-9a1d-a29e70386613/shows/5ceb52e3-6ac2-4698-82cb-ce8214a5be04/episodes/7fb53d43-2b1f-477f-be72-4ba5ea97e3e3/#" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">passionstruck.com/starterpacks</a>.</p><p>Catch More of Passion Struck:</p><ul><li><strong>Check Part 1 of this series,</strong><a href="https://passionstruck.com/mattering-in-love/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> 'Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You'</a></li><li><a href="https://passionstruck.com/jessica-zweig-be-the-light-you-seek-in-the-world/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Catch My Episode with Jessica Zweig on How to Be the Light You Seek in the World</a></li><li><a href="https://passionstruck.com/dr-nicole-lepera-on-how-to-be-the-love-you-seek/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Watch my interview with Dr. Nicole LePera on How to Be the Love You Seek</a></li><li><a href="https://passionstruck.com/kate-bowler-why-there-is-no-cure-for-being-human/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Can’t miss my episode withKate Bowler on Why There is No Cure for Being Human</a></li><li><a href="https://passionstruck.com/the-art-of-listening/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">My solo episode on The Art of Listening: How to Make People Feel Like They Matter</a></li></ul><p>If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.</p><p>How to Connect with John:</p><p>Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMiles and on Instagram at @John_R_Miles. Subscribe to our main YouTube Channel <a href="https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here</a> and to our YouTube Clips Channel <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@passionstruckclips" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here</a>. For more insights and resources, visit <a href="https://johnrmiles.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">John’s website</a>.</p><p>Want to explore where you stand on the path to becoming Passion Struck? Take our 20-question quiz on <a href="https://passionstruck.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Passionstruck.com</a> and find out today!</p><p>See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.</p>
Show Notes
What if love doesn't feel uncertain because of the person you're with—but because you haven't fully chosen yourself? Many people settle for relationships that leave them questioning their worth. This episode explores The Mattering Mindset in Love—the difference between being chosen out of love versus convenience, why self-worth determines the love we accept, and how to cultivate relationships that foster security and emotional fulfillment. This conversation will shift everything if you've ever wondered why love feels like a guessing game.
Key takeaways:
- Love isn't about being chosen occasionally—it's about being valued consistently.
- If you have to convince someone of your worth, they are not your person.
- The Mattering Mindset in Love requires mutual investment, not one-sided effort.
- True commitment isn't about exclusivity alone—it's about daily actions that reinforce security and trust.
- If clarity scares someone away, they were never fully invested.
- The right partner welcomes conversations about commitment because they value you.
- Settling happens when you mistake trust and familiarity for real emotional security.
- Speak with your feet—your actions should align with your worth, not just your desires.
- A great relationship makes you feel seen, heard, and valued for exactly who you are.
- If you wouldn't tolerate a certain level of effort from a friend, why accept it in a relationship?
Want to take this conversation further?
Head over to JohnRMiles.com/speaking if you're interested in bringing these insights into your organization, team, or event.
Next on Passion Struck:
In the next episode of Passion Struck, John sits down with Natalie Namaste, an expert in self-healing and emotional freedom, to discuss how to break free from subconscious patterns and build a self-love foundation that transforms every relationship in your life. If you've ever felt stuck in toxic cycles, this is an episode you won't want to miss.
Join the Passion Struck Community!
Sign up for the Live Intentionally newsletter, where exclusive content, actionable advice, and insights help you ignite your purpose and live your most intentional life. Get access to practical exercises, inspiring stories, and tools designed to help you grow. Learn more and sign up here.
Speaking Engagements & Workshops
Are you looking to inspire your team, organization, or audience to take intentional action in their lives and careers? Available for keynote speaking, workshops, and leadership training on topics such as intentional living, resilience, leadership, and personal growth. Learn more at johnrmiles.com/speaking.
Episode Starter Packs
With over 500 episodes, it can be overwhelming to know where to start. Curated Episode Starter Packs based on key themes like leadership, mental health, and personal growth make it easier to dive into the topics you care about. Check them out at passionstruck.com/starterpacks.
Catch More of Passion Struck:
- Part 1 of this series: 'Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You'
- Episode with Jessica Zweig on How to Be the Light You Seek in the World
- Interview with Dr. Nicole LePera on How to Be the Love You Seek
- Episode with Kate Bowler on Why There is No Cure for Being Human
- Solo episode on The Art of Listening: How to Make People Feel Like They Matter
If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don't forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.
How to Connect with John:
Want to explore where you stand on the path to becoming Passion Struck? Take the 20-question quiz at Passionstruck.com and find out today!
See Privacy Policy and California Privacy Notice.
Raw Description
<p>What if love doesn’t feel uncertain because of the person you’re with—but because you haven’t fully chosen yourself? Many people settle for relationships that leave them questioning their worth. This episode explores <em>The Mattering Mindset in Love</em>—the difference between being chosen out of love versus convenience, why self-worth determines the love we accept, and how to cultivate relationships that foster security and emotional fulfillment. This conversation will shift everything if you’ve ever wondered why love feels like a guessing game.</p><p>Download the Leave Behind in the full show notes at: <a href="https://passionstruck.com/the-mattering-mindset-in-love/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://passionstruck.com/the-mattering-mindset-in-love/</a></p><p><strong>Key takeaways:</strong></p><ul><li>Love isn’t about being chosen occasionally—it’s about being valued consistently.</li><li>If you have to convince someone of your worth, they are not your person.</li><li>The Mattering Mindset in Love requires mutual investment, not one-sided effort.</li><li>True commitment isn’t about exclusivity alone—it’s about daily actions that reinforce security and trust.</li><li>If clarity scares someone away, they were never fully invested.</li><li>The right partner welcomes conversations about commitment because they value you.</li><li>Settling happens when you mistake trust and familiarity for real emotional security.</li><li>Speak with your feet—your actions should align with your worth, not just your desires.</li><li>A great relationship makes you feel seen, heard, and valued for exactly who you are.</li><li>If you wouldn’t tolerate a certain level of effort from a friend, why accept it in a relationship?</li></ul><p><br></p><p><strong>Want to take this conversation further?</strong> Head over to <a href="https://johnrmiles.com/speaking" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">JohnRMiles.com/speaking</a> if you’re interested in bringing these insights into your organization, team, or event.</p><p>Sponsors:</p><ul><li>Factor Meals: <a href="http://factormeals.com/factormeals50off" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">http://factormeals.com/factormeals50off</a> and use code “FACTOR MEALS 50 OFF</li><li>Rosetta Stone: Unlock 25 languages for life at <a href="https://www.rosettastone.com/passionstruck" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">“ROSETTASTONE.com/passionstruck</a>.”</li><li>Prolon: Reset your health with 15% off at <a href="https://prolonlife.com/passionstruck" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">“ProlonLife.com/passionstruck</a>.”</li><li>Mint Mobile: Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at “<a href="https://mintmobile.com/passion" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">MINT MOBILE dot com slash PASSION.</a>”</li><li>Hims: Start your journey to regrowing hair with Hims. Visit <a href="https://www.hims.com/passionstruck" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">hims.com/PASSIONSTRUCK</a> for your free online visit.</li><li>Quince: Discover luxury at affordable prices with Quince. Enjoy free shipping and 365-day returns at <a href="https://www.quince.com/passion" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">quince.com/PASSION</a></li></ul><p><strong>Next on Passion Struck:</strong></p><p>In the next episode of <em>Passion Struck</em>, John sits down with Natalie Namaste, an expert in self-healing and emotional freedom, to discuss how to break free from subconscious patterns and build a self-love foundation that transforms every relationship in your life. If you’ve ever felt stuck in toxic cycles, this is an episode you won’t want to miss.</p><p>For more information on advertisers and promo codes, visit <a href="https://passionstruck.com/deals/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Passion Struck Deals</a>.</p><p>Join the Passion Struck Community! Sign up for the Live Intentionally newsletter, where I share exclusive content, actionable advice, and insights to help you ignite your purpose and live your most intentional life. Get access to practical exercises, inspiring stories, and tools designed to help you grow. <a href="https://passionstruck.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Learn more and sign up here.</a></p><p>Speaking Engagements & Workshops Are you looking to inspire your team, organization, or audience to take intentional action in their lives and careers? I’m available for keynote speaking, workshops, and leadership training on topics such as intentional living, resilience, leadership, and personal growth. Let’s work together to create transformational change. Learn more at <a href="https://dashboard.simplecast.com/accounts/85feb7a6-7f1a-4066-9a1d-a29e70386613/shows/5ceb52e3-6ac2-4698-82cb-ce8214a5be04/episodes/7fb53d43-2b1f-477f-be72-4ba5ea97e3e3/#" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">johnrmiles.com/speaking</a>.</p><p>Episode Starter Packs With over 500 episodes, it can be overwhelming to know where to start. We’ve curated Episode Starter Packs based on key themes like leadership, mental health, and personal growth, making it easier for you to dive into the topics you care about. Check them out at <a href="https://dashboard.simplecast.com/accounts/85feb7a6-7f1a-4066-9a1d-a29e70386613/shows/5ceb52e3-6ac2-4698-82cb-ce8214a5be04/episodes/7fb53d43-2b1f-477f-be72-4ba5ea97e3e3/#" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">passionstruck.com/starterpacks</a>.</p><p>Catch More of Passion Struck:</p><ul><li><strong>Check Part 1 of this series,</strong><a href="https://passionstruck.com/mattering-in-love/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> 'Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You'</a></li><li><a href="https://passionstruck.com/jessica-zweig-be-the-light-you-seek-in-the-world/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Catch My Episode with Jessica Zweig on How to Be the Light You Seek in the World</a></li><li><a href="https://passionstruck.com/dr-nicole-lepera-on-how-to-be-the-love-you-seek/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Watch my interview with Dr. Nicole LePera on How to Be the Love You Seek</a></li><li><a href="https://passionstruck.com/kate-bowler-why-there-is-no-cure-for-being-human/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Can’t miss my episode withKate Bowler on Why There is No Cure for Being Human</a></li><li><a href="https://passionstruck.com/the-art-of-listening/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">My solo episode on The Art of Listening: How to Make People Feel Like They Matter</a></li></ul><p>If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.</p><p>How to Connect with John:</p><p>Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMiles and on Instagram at @John_R_Miles. Subscribe to our main YouTube Channel <a href="https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnRMiles" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here</a> and to our YouTube Clips Channel <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@passionstruckclips" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here</a>. For more insights and resources, visit <a href="https://johnrmiles.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">John’s website</a>.</p><p>Want to explore where you stand on the path to becoming Passion Struck? Take our 20-question quiz on <a href="https://passionstruck.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Passionstruck.com</a> and find out today!</p><p>See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.</p>