211: Vanessa Van Edwards - How To Be Instantly Irresistible

<p>Episode 211: Vanessa Van Edwards - How To Be Instantly Irresistible</p> <p>Subscribe on <a href= "http://www.ryanhawk.net/">iTunes</a> or <a href= "http://app.stitcher.com/browse/feed/64865/details">Stitcher Radio</a></p> <p style= "font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; word-spacing: 0px;"> "Vulnerability is sexy. There is science to prove it."</p> <p style= "font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; word-spacing: 0px;"> Show Notes:</p> <ul> <li>Sustained Excellence = Being a people reader (not a mind reader) <ul> <li>Try to listen to others more than anyone else</li> <li>Get to KNOW the person</li> <li>3 Skills <ul> <li>Decoding - Leaders who are able to read others accurately</li> <li>Encoding - <em>Your</em> ability to send accurate signals to others... What can I do to excite others?</li> <li>Self-Regulation</li> </ul> </li> </ul> </li> <li>The art/science of inspiring others</li> <li>We decide if someone is a winner or a loser... Do they feel pride or shame? If we feel pride, we take up more space, shame = less space</li> <li>Charisma -- How to be instantly irresistible?</li> <li>The most charismatic people <ul> <li>High Warmth</li> <li>High Competence</li> <li>Must have both</li> <li>Lucille Ball is a great example. <em>I Love Lucy</em></li> </ul> </li> <li>Do you need high levels of charisma to be an effective leader? <ul> <li>You do not need to be extroverted... Or a booming leader</li> <li>Quiet, contemplative types can be phenomenal leaders</li> </ul> </li> <li>How to handle a room with a lot of people networking if you're an introvert? <ul> <li>Your key in this room is to try and create 1 on 1 conversations. Play to your strengths</li> <li>Don't stand in the center of the room</li> <li>Stand at a high bar table</li> <li>Low light areas</li> </ul> </li> <li>Conversation hacks: <ul> <li>Sparks - The brain looks for hits, not misses</li> <li>"Anything good happen lately?</li> <li>"Working on anything exciting?"</li> </ul> </li> <li>Ask soft yes/no questions... <ul> <li>"A really skilled decoder is a better listener than anyone else"</li> </ul> </li> <li>"Vulnerability is sexy. There is science to prove it."</li> <li>"Relatability comes down to ties." -- Saying "Oh, me too" creates a tie with that person. <ul> <li>"You want this, I want this..." type speeches</li> </ul> </li> <li>The 7 micro-expressions</li> </ul> <p>"The most charismatic people have: high warmth and high competence."</p> <p> </p> <p>Social Media:</p> <ul> <li>Follow Noah on Twitter: <a href= "https://twitter.com/vvanedwards" target="_blank" rel= "noopener noreferrer">@vvanedwards</a></li> <li>Read: <em><a href= "https://www.amazon.com/Captivate-Succeeding-Vanessa-Van-Edwards/dp/0399564489/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1496761700&sr=8-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Captivate</a></em></li> <li>Connect with me on <a href= "https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryanhawk12" target="_blank" rel= "noopener noreferrer">LinkedIn</a></li> <li>Join our Facebook Group: <a href= "https://www.facebook.com/groups/LearningLeader" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Learning Leader Community</a></li> <li>To Follow Me on Twitter: <a href= "https://twitter.com/RyanHawk12">@RyanHawk12</a></li> </ul> <p>More Learning:</p> <p><a href="http://bit.ly/1OOLpjJ">Episode 078:</a> Kat Cole – From Hooters Waitress To President of Cinnabon</p> <p><a href="http://bit.ly/1PoVpmv" target="_blank" rel= "noopener noreferrer">Episode 071:</a> NateBoyer - Green Beret, Texas Football, The NFL</p> <p><a href="http://bit.ly/2h4yhvT" target="_blank" rel= "noopener noreferrer">Episode 179:</a> How To Sustain Excellence - The Best Answers From 178 Questions</p> <p><a href="http://bit.ly/21vBS5d">Episode 107:</a> Simon Sinek – Leadership: It Starts With Why</p> <p>The Learning Leader Show is supported by <a href="http://www.rhone.com" target="_blank" rel= "noopener noreferrer">Rhone</a>. Use the code "Hawk" for 15% off. Rhone... premium activewear engineered with principle, performance and progress for the modern man. Rhone builds clothing around 3 main tenants: Cutting-edge Performance, Premium Comfort, and Simplistic Style.</p>